An Open Letter to The First Boy I Thought I Loved,
You taught me the hardest lessons I ever had to learn.
You were so mean, but for three years i thought thats what love felt like.
I was such a kid, I was only 11 years old when I met you.
I let you trick me into caring more about you than myself.
The first time we kissed i cried myself to sleep that night.
Thank you for teaching me more lessons about life than anyone else.
From you I learned..
lying is not love
crying is not love
cheating is not love
fighting is not love
The last one was the hardest.
Every fight we had we went on and on until we forgot what it was we were fighting about.
You destroyed me, and built me back up again.
I was just a kid when i thought I "loved" you.
I walked away, and I dodged a bullet.
I never loved you, because what we felt for one another was passionate in all the wrong ways.
Thank you for setting the standards higher because of how horrible we were together..
I'm not angry anymore, it took me a few years to heal, but I'm finally not angry.
Even after the hundreds of times you ripped my heart out and stepped on it to then put the pieces back together.
I'm happy for you because we were never right for one another.
We were just kids, who didn't even know what love is, hell I still don't.
But i thought i loved you, and I let myself think i did.
My stomach doesn't drop when I hear your name anymore, I smile.
With you I was constantly trying to prove myself and I never felt good enough for you
What a crazy thing that the world works that way, that we can confuse hatred for love.